A Trip Down Memory Lane

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More On Parking

Say the first two words in the title of this post fast.  As if they were in fact just one word.

You know…as in “moron parking.”

Now that the official policy regarding parking at MGM Resorts in Las Vegas has been released, I’m going to talk about it one more time.  This is, after all, “Rob’s Vegas& Poker Blog” and this is a big deal in Vegas.  I was going to talk about it some more anyway since on my most recent trip to Vegas my travels were somewhat affected by the new policy even though it still hasn’t started yet—well, it sort of hasn’t started yet.

I discussed the decision by MGM Resorts to start charging for parking at all their Vegas resorts here and here.  But that was largely based on hearsay, rumor and innuendo.  Now I have some actual facts.

Those posts were written after my March trip but before The T-Mobile arena had opened.  When I returned in April, the arena was open, as was “The Park,” a little outdoor, park-like area between New York New York and Monte Carlo.  It is accessible from the Strip.  I guess it’s sort of like the Linq promenade, but smaller and maybe a bit more pastoral.  It’s nice enough, but it is clearly not aimed at someone like me.  Aside from some grass and some trees, it is made up mostly of (presumably) overpriced places to eat and drink.

The arena, from the outside, resembles a place where you’d see a basketball or hockey game.  And in fact, it is big enough to host an NHL team, and they are trying like crazy to actually land an NHL club.  It sounds like it is likely to happen.  Because, if being in the middle of the desert doesn’t make you think of ice hockey, what does?

By the way, they have already picked out a name for the NHL team, assuming they get one.  It’ll be The Las Vegas Black Knights.  Seriously?  That strikes me as a bad name.  I had already thought of the perfect name for a Las Vegas hockey team.  They should call it the Las Vegas Aces.  Imagine their games with the L.A. Kings—Aces vs. Kings.  The Aces will always be 80-20 favorites. 

The arena will also host concerts, fights, exhibition basketball games, and who knows what else.  Right now, the Lakers (and the aforementioned Kings) play an exhibition game or two every year at MGM in the Grand Garden, I imagine the T-Mobile arena will now host those.

On nights when they have a big event there, it will bring a lot of traffic to the corner of Tropicana and the Strip.  There’s already a lot of traffic there now.  Should be fun. 

So they built this arena, and, originally, they didn’t build any additional parking structures for it.  They said that the garages in the casinos nearby (all MGM properties) would provide ample parking for the new venue. (I’ve since learned they are working on another garage behind Excalibur to provide more parking).

Now at any other place in the country—or the world, I guess—you would expect to pay for parking at big sports/concert venue like this.  I have no idea what it costs to park at Dodger Stadium or Staples Center, but I bet it’s more than a buck or two.

And thus, the justification to start charging for parking was born.  They couldn’t very well let you park in a nearby casino parking garage to see the Las Vegas Black Knights for free, could they?  Of course not.  And since there is no dedicated structure for the arena, the obvious thing to do is charge for parking at all neighboring casino garages.

To be sure, there were other reasons for them to start charging for parking.  The main one being, they could.

Originally they were going to start charging for parking at all their casinos in April, just as the arena was ready to open.  But I guess it took them longer than expected to get all the garages ready to operate as paid facilities.  So when the arena opened, just a few weeks before I got there last month, they decided to only charge for parking at some of their casinos and only when there was an event at the arena.

The report I heard was that, on event nights, it was $20 to park in the NYNY or Monte Carlo garages.  And also that some of the Aria parking was also $20.  Note: If you knew to “reserve” a parking spot, you could get the space for only $10 by paying in advance.

My understanding (which may be wrong, I admit) was that if you wanted to go to any of those places on a night when they had an event, even if it was just to gamble or eat in the casino, you’d be charged twenty bucks to exit!

As I’ve mentioned, frequently when I got to MGM, I find it more convenient to park at NYNY.  Also, when I go to Aria, I find it easier to park at Monte Carlo.  Why?  Well, you can’t get to the Aria self-parking without driving on the Vegas Strip. I hate driving on the Vegas Strip.  I take great pains to avoid it.  Usually, I’m pretty successful.  I think I know all the back roads and back routes to get to the places and the structures I need without driving on the Strip. And guess what? I can get to the Monte Carlo parking structure without driving on the Strip. 

So, it was incumbent on me to check the T-Mobile schedule first before deciding to try to park at either NYNY or MC.  Actually, it turned out I was there such a brief time they didn’t have events while I was there.  But I still was affected by the new parking rules.

I encountered this before in March, but the NYNY parking structure was still in the process of being converted to “enhanced parking.”  Yes, that’s what they’re calling it, as a way of charging you for it.  I suspect they will eventually be featuring “enhanced toilet paper” in the restrooms that they can charge you for.  There were enough floors being worked on (repaved, re-stripped, adding those generally worthless lights telling you whether or not a space is open) that I just ended up parking on the roof both times I parked there.  I imagine when there’s a big event, event, those spaces I saw on the roof might all be filled.

Parking at MGM itself the one time I did was more frustrating.  Hadn’t been in the lot since early January.  Well, I entered from where I usually do.  And I tried my little “shortcut” to get to the back of the garage so I can easily reach the upper levels without encountering any traffic.  Well, there was no sign warning me but my access to the upper ramps was completely closed off.  I had no choice but to exit the garage right back onto the street and double back.  I was not happy.

While doing that, I noticed a huge lineup of cars trying to exit the structure.  This was like at level 4 or 5 so that was a lot of cars backed up a long way.  And this was before anyone had to pay to exit (or put a paid ticked in a machine).  It was likely due to there being so many exits closed that they were forced to use only one.  In case you’ve never seen it, the MGM garage is a huge muther-effing garage. I was almost stuck in the traffic of the exiters even though I was entering.  Fortunately, when I exited myself, there was just a minimal back up.

Now I attribute this to the work they are doing on the garages.  In other words, it is just temporary.  Hopefully, all the floors and all the exits will be operational next time I’m there.

But it did give me a sneak peak at what will likely happen on a busy night.  With every car having to stop, and either pay, put a ticket in a machine, or swipe a card to get the gate open, traffic leaving any MGM venue is going to back up.  That should be a lot of fun.  It is one of the penalties everyone will pay for this new parking policy, even if you don’t have to pay for parking.

Anyway, that was my experience in April. I already mentioned that in March I saw the kiosks installed in some of the lots (most notably NYNY and MC) that would be used to collect the money.

But the complete details of how the fees would work weren’t revealed until the end of last week.  It started with an email sent to all MLife cardholders who live in Vegas (or maybe all of Nevada?).  I didn’t get one but a copy was forwarded to me.  It mostly covered the topic of fees for locals.  And it explained that Nevada residents would be entitled to free parking through the end of the year, even as they were going to start charging everyone else starting in early June.  Starting next year, Nevada residents will be on their own, presumably, just like the rest of us.  Oh, but there will be no free parking, even no, for locals on “Event Nights” at the nearest casino garages to the arenas.

Amusing note (to me anyway):  The person who signed the email has the title of “Chief Experience Officer.”  That is certainly a title I’d never heard of before.  Does this mean there are a bunch of not as powerful “Experience Officers” reporting to this person?  And how much experience is required to be a Chief Experience Officer?

Anyway, of more importance to non-locals, such as myself, was the link they provided which finally revealed all the details of the new parking rules.  The link is here and I suggest you click on it and explore around before reading much further in this post. And be sure to check out the four riveting videos on that page that help explain it all. But don’t stop there.  Be sure to click on the link on that page that takes you to the Frequently Asked Questions (which is here).  There you will see no less than 67 FAQ’sthat explain it all.

If you check out both web pages, you will see one obvious problem with the new program.  It is extremely complicated.  Just as a general rule, anything that complicated, that complex….anything that needs 67 FAQ’s answered is, by definition, bad. 

One thing to notice is that, for self-parking, there are three tiers.  The first 60-minutes will actually be free.  The trouble with that is…what can you do in a casino for less than an hour?  Have you ever been inside the casinos and the parking garages at Bellagio or MGM Grand?  They are huge.  I believe that, unless you qualify for the US Olympic team as a sprinter, you probably can’t get from the garage to the center of either casino and back to your car in an hour.  OK, that is a slight exaggeration.  But I’m really not sure how much time you’d have once you actually got into the casino to do anything.

Then there is a rate for under four hours, and a rate for over four hours.  The most self-parking will cost at any resort will be $10—per entry/exit (or per day, whichever is more).  Now, if you are staying at one of the MGM resorts, they will graciously charge you only $10 per day, and you can park at any and every MGM property as many times as you like for that one low price.  If you are a registered guest, they will conveniently bill you the $10 per day to your room, just like the resort fee.

It’s pretty much the same for valet parking, though that is of course more expensive.  And there is no one hour free with the valet parking. As soon as you hand your car to the valet, you’re on the clock.

I immediately thought of one problem when I saw the program that I hadn’t thought of originally.  What if someone would like to use both the valet and self-parking at various times?  As I’ve mentioned, I never stay on the Strip any more, I stay off strip at a place designed for longer visits and that has a kitchen.  But in the past, I’ve stayed at regular hotels, both on and off the Strip.  In recent years, due mostly to my chronic back discomfort, I would use the valet when I checked in to a hotel, so I could have a bellman deal with my luggage.  And also use the valet when checking out.  It saved my back.  But the rest of the time, I would always self-park, which I prefer whenever possible.  Would I still be able to do this under the new system?

The answer is no.  Assuming I was paying for parking, I would have to decide if I wanted to valet the entire time or self-park the entire time.  There’s no going back and forth (I actually just found this in the FAQ’s). Apparently, even if I was ok with paying for Valet the whole time while using the self-park most of the time, they wouldn’t allow it.  Man, not only would that add considerably to the cost of the stay—paying at the valet rate the whole time, when I only wanted it twice during my stay—but I’d be spending a lot of money in tips for the valets.  Yeesh.

But digging into those FAQ’s I learned that at least those who are paying for parking by virtue of having a room at an MGM property won’t be charged extra during event periods. That is different from what I was told during April before the entire policy kicked in. So, if you’re staying at NYNY and come back to your hotel during the middle of a hockey game or a Billy Joel concert, you won’t have to pay an extra twenty bucks.  But you might not be able to find a parking space there!  So you might have to park at Excalibur or Luxor or MGM and walk back to your hotel.  That should prove to be popular!

Of course, there are ways to get around the parking fees.  Park at a non-MGM resort!  Or…well, as noted at the time, if you get your MLife upgraded, you can qualify for free parking for life—or until those tier credits expire.   If you increase one level from the entry level, which is “Pearl” you get free self-parking.  Another level above that, “Gold” and you get free valet parking.

As mentioned in my prior posts about this, until now you could never increase your level through just playing poker. Poker just didn’t count.  But MGM knew they had to do something for the locals who keep their rooms busy and the games going.  Even the biggest tourist rooms in town on the strip all depend on the local grinders to support their poker rooms.  Forcing the locals into other rooms by charging them to park would kill even the biggest, busiest poker rooms in town.

I mentioned how complicated the rules for parking are and how you can find everything you need to know about them at that link above.  Well not quite.  Because the rules for qualifying for higher tier levels for poker players are not written down anywhere—at least anywhere that the average person can find them.  It’s a secret.  I’m not kidding.  You will not see any MGM employee write down the rules for this.  It’s almost like you have to know the secret handshake to get the details.  You need to go to a high ranking poker room employee in one of their rooms, and whisper to them, “I’m Nunzio’s wife.” (there’s no prize, but please let me know if you understand that reference). 

I can only guess at the reasons they are keeping these rules on the QT. And in this post, I won’t guess.  But the rules are out there, spread by word-of-mouth.  And I therefore hope it’s ok for me to reveal them without risk of repercussions. I wouldn’t want to wake up with a lion’s head n my bed.  Essentially, you have to play 75 hours of live poker in an MGM property to get to Pearl for free self-parking (I assume in a year, but honestly, not sure).  And double that—150 hours—and you get to Gold, for free valet parking.  If you do all of that in a single MGM resorts room, it’s automatic.  But if you need to combine hours in more than one room to make the threshold, I assume you have to go into one of those poker rooms, ask to speak to the boss, and, again, tell them you’re Nunzio’s wife, and they will set you up.  Fortunately, in 2016, it wouldn’t be so weird for a guy to actually be Nunzio’s wife.  You won’t have to put on a dress to do this.

I also heard that tournament players can qualify if they play X number of tournaments in an MGM property in the period.  I think it was 15 (maybe 18, so don’t quote me).  I guess double that for Gold.  No idea if there’s a way to combine tournament and cash play to make it.  You might have to tell them you’re Nunzio himself to get that accomplished.

Well, yours truly has indeed qualified.  Not just for Pearl, but for Gold. I’m gold, Jerry, I’m gold! (well, I am supposed to look like Costanza). And since I got that just from playing at MGM (Grand), I didn’t need to speak to anyone.  One day I looked at my MLife benefits online and there I was…GOLD.  Hooray for me.  I can park anywhere I damn like at any MGM property and just laugh at all you schlubs who actually have to pay.

And of course the local grinders who play a fair amount in the MGM rooms will make it easily.  For them, it’s about an hour and a half of play in an MGM room per week.  Eeazy Peazy for even the mildest of Vegas poker degenerates.  But what if you prefer to play at CET rooms, or Venetian, or Wynn, and only very occasionally play at MGM rooms? Like when a buddy in town wants to play there, or there’s something else going on there everyone once in awhile that brings you there?  Hmm…could be a problem even for the locals.

But here’s what I fear. As I noted before, it’s inevitable that the other Strip properties will start charging for parking.  For one thing, they are no less greedy than the folks in charge at MGM.  They wear corporate suits too.  And also…for self-defense.  People wanting to go to Mirage will park at Venetian or Treasure Island and walk there.  They will park across the street at Bally’s to go to Bellagio.  They will park at Tropicana or Hooters to play MGM or the other MGM properties in the vicinity.  And…it’s a bit of schlep, but you can park at Planet Hollywood and walk to MGM (or to Aria).  I know, I’ve done it.  So when there’s suddenly no parking available at casinos that aren’t charging for parking for their own patrons, guess what they’re gonna do?  If you said, “Adapt a similar policy to MGM’s,” you win!

And then it will become difficult for all but the most degenerate of poker degens to qualify at all the properties to assure themselves of free parking at every place on the strip they might want to play poker.  And for yours truly, it might very well become impossible.  And even with just MGM casinos, cutting down my trips to Vegas as I have, and playing in a larger variety of rooms (most of those, non-MGM properties) means my ability to keep up my free parking privileges for a long time are shaky at best.

Of course, you can still qualify for Pearl or Gold status the old way—by playing in the pit, pouring money into the slot machines, paying for expensive meals at the MGM properties.  I dunno what the rules are for qualifying that way—I never did any of that stuff and never needed to know.  And no idea if you can combine poker play with slot and or pit play to qualify.  My guess is no, but not clear.

And I want to repeat what I’ve said previously.  I give a lot of credit to the poker room managers at the MGM properties for encouraging their bosses up the food chain to make this concession for their poker players.  I have no inside knowledge of how this came about, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some blood was spilled over this.  I only say this knowing how top casino management in general (at any casino) thinks about poker.  Which is, almost never, unless they absolutely have to.

But that concession will not help a lot of players, the non-poker players or the visitors who don’t visit often enough to play 75 hours in one chain’s rooms  Those people had better start planning on pouring money into slot machines, or putting a mortgage payment or two into a buy-in at a blackjack table.

The MGM suits point out that parking costs almost everywhere else in the country.  True enough.  But when I paid a shitload to park at a hotel in downtown Los Angeles a few years back, there was no casino where I was encouraged to lose a car payment or two at games of chance that were guaranteed to take money out of my pocket over time.  I’ve played in a bunch of different casinos in Southern California and not once did I ever have to pay to park.  I guess Atlantic City charges for parking—but is a shithole like Atlantic City something that Vegas wants to emulate?

I keep hearing that the Vegas business model has changed. They no longer make the majority of their money from gambling.  That’s why they need to make money on everything.  But to me, that’s sort of a chicken-or-egg thing.  Did gambling revenues go down all by themselves, forcing casinos to jack up the costs for everything else?  Or did they go down because people now spend so much more than they used on everything else in Vegas (food, drinks, shows, clubs, rooms, spas, etc) that they don’t have as much money as they used to gamble with?

They used to give away the store to get you to come in to play games with bad odds.  In exchange you got whatever thrill you got for gambling, knowing you’d likely lose but that there was a chance you’d sometimes come home a winner.  They still want you to do that but they also want to overcharge you for rooms, food, drinks, shows, clubs.  None of those are bargains any more.  And they now want to charge you to park for the privilege of overpaying for all those things, and of course, gamble!

Will this change affect Vegas tourism in an appreciable way?  Who knows? But let me give you a example from some people I know, my friends Woody & LM, who I’ve mentioned often.  They love Vegas but never, ever gamble.  They go to get away from the rat-race, to relax in a nice hotel room, or the bar, or by the pool in nice weather.  They like the spa.  They enjoy a few fine meals while in town.  Occasionally they see a show but are more likely to catch a movie while in town.

The last two times they went they stayed at the Aria and loved it.  They would love to go back there, the room and the amenities were all outstanding.  But when I sent them the new parking details, they told me they were never going to go back to Aria—or any MGM property again.  The resort fees they paid were bad enough, but this is where they draw the line.  They can still stay at other Strip places for now….and when that is closed off to them, they will likely stay at Red Rock or even Orleans before ever finding themselves in an MGM parking garage again.  They can certainly do pretty much everything they want to do in Vegas at the Red Rock, without ever hitting the Strip.

They can’t be the only ones who feel this way.  I mean, once people have seen the Strip, can they avoid it on their next visit and just do Vegas at a locals place (that will likely never charge for parking)?  Depends on why they come to Vegas.  They might need the Strip for a show or a night club.  But unless they have a hankering for a specific Strip restaurant, they can find good food at a lot cheaper prices elsewhere.  And you know, those locals places have slot machines and blackjack tables too.

Ironically, it’s the poker players who come to Vegas that need the Strip more than most tourists.  The games are better on the Strip than in the locals places with the nits.  That is, until the recreational poker players stop coming to Vegas because of the parking fees.

I guess we’ll just have to see how it all plays out.  Rant over (for now).

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Vegas Ain't What it Used to Be (Part 2)

Make sure you’ve read Part 1 (here) before reading this.

I guess some of you are wondering if charging for parking is that big of a deal.  Well actually, yes it is.  But also, it is just symbolic of how Vegas has changed over the years since I first started going there.  It’s sort of the last thing they can take away from you.  What’s next?  No more free drinks for players?  Charging to use the restrooms?  Maybe they’ll charge for each square of toilet paper?

So for those of you who never experienced it (or have forgotten), let me tell you about what Vegas used to be like.

In the old, old days, they wouldn’t dream of charging you for parking.  They barely charged you for anything at all.  When the “mob” ran the town, their philosophy was to do anything they could to get people in the casino. Once there, the suckers—I mean the patrons—would lose money playing games of chance that were totally rigged against them.  If you played long enough, you had to lose money.  Everyone knew you couldn’t beat the house, but yes, occasionally, you’d get lucky and leave a winner.  But they weren’t worried.  They knew you’d be back and give it all back to them.  That’s all they wanted, to get you at that blackjack table, or have you parked in front of the slot machine.  They were willing to lose money on everything else they did in order to keep people coming in to gamble, because they knew they’d win so much more from people gambling than they’d “lose” giving folks cheap (or free) food, drinks, rooms and entertainment.

Eventually corporations took over from the mob.  That reduced the chances of players getting kneecapped in the back room, but it increased the prices of everything around town.

Long before I ever visited Vegas—before I was born even—my Aunt and Uncle used to visit Vegas from L.A. quite frequently.  They had moved to L.A. from New York in the early 1950’s and discovered Vegas.  Back then, it was quite a deal.  They didn’t like to gamble at all.  But they insisted that they could drive to Vegas for a weekend, sit by the pool all day, enjoy a show or two starring a major headliner, eat at the buffet and/or enjoy some fine dining, and it would cost them less than staying home. Of course, gas was really cheap back then.  Interstate 15 didn’t exist, but the two lane highway that connected L.A. and Vegas worked almost as well. In those days, there weren’t that many people in Southern California so traffic wasn’t an issue. And all of that without them gambling a nickel, except for whatever free slot pulls or free table game bets they were given for checking into their hotel (the casinos used to do that).

Many years later, by the time my buddy Norm and I started making regular trips to Vegas, things had changed, but not that much.  We could still get incredibly cheap hotel rooms—especially during the week.  Although I bet we’d be happy to pay what we paid for a Saturday night back then for a weekday night today. 

The food was still a tremendous bargain.  I remember the Circus Circus buffet was like $2,99 for breakfast, $3.99 for lunch and $4.99 for dinner—all you could eat, of course.  And good quality food.  All the buffets were cheap.  When the Rio first opened its buffet, it was the best in town and still a bargain.  After a few years, we noticed the price had gotten a bit out of control.  These days I avoid the buffets but I could never, ever get my money’s worth at one with what they charge.  In fact, a 350-pound person who hadn’t eaten in three days couldn’t get their money’s worth now at most buffets.

There were also great food bargains around town.  Someone mentioned in a comment here not long ago the deal at the Dunes (where Bellagio now resides).  You could get a hot dog and a beer (or a soft drink) for a buck.  Yeah.  Try finding that deal now.  We would ride around town and see signs on the marquees offering great meal deals, sometimes during limited hours, sometimes 24/7. I remember one was at a place called the Ambassador.  Not sure where it was—it’s long gone—but it was off the Strip.  I don’t recall the price, but they had a fantastic deal on a full steak meal we’d always take advantage of every trip.  It wasn’t the best steak we’d ever had, but it was at least as good as half the steaks you’d find in a quality steakhouse.  It probably cost just a few bucks more than I recently paid just for pickles and onions.  There were more great deals like that than we could get to on a single trip.

We rarely ordered drinks at a Vegas bar, but I know back in the day those were cheap too.  I’m sure I remember paying no more than a buck or two for a beer at a bar.  It was cheaper than sitting at a blackjack table, blowing $20 waiting for your beer, that’s for sure.

Since I rarely drank at a bar, I actually remember when I first realized the price of drinks had gone up dramatically.  I was visiting during August, this time alone.  For reasons I can’t recall, I had done a lot of walking around the south end of the Strip.  And it was hot.  Really, really hot.  I later learned that it was the hottest day in Vegas recorded history for that particular date.  Since it was August, you can imagine how hot that was—117°, 118°, something like that.    I finally staggered into Mandalay Bay, and I was about to pass out.  I made it into a bar.  I was going to order my first drink in Vegas bar in years.  A beer sounded real good.  I ordered one from the comely cocktail waitress, and when she told me the price, I was floored.  Now honestly, I don’t recall how much it was, but I was expecting a buck or two and it was a ton more than that.  It was more than a six-pack of beer cost at the local super-market, for sure.  I paid her and all I could think of was, for that price, she should have poured it on her tits and let me lick it off her.

Of course, one of the things that changed were the table limits.  This was long before I started playing poker.  Back then, Norm and I played mostly blackjack and craps.  And since we knew the odds were stacked against us, and we thus wanted to make our precious gambling dollars last as long as possible, we always looked for the lowest minimum bets we could find.  It was actually possible to find $2 blackjack and $2 craps.  We just refused to play higher stakes than that.  There were some “classy” casinos we therefore couldn’t play in (Caesars, Desert Inn, for example) but we could usually find what we wanted.  These days $5 blackjack is virtually non-existent (I think casinos start at $15). And craps?  Forget about it.  Good luck finding a $5 craps table.  It’s $10 if you’re lucky.  And who only puts a single bet down on a craps table?  I would love to still play craps, but the way I like to play, I’d go through $200 in about four minutes unless I started winning right away.  They’ve totally priced me out.

That was actually one of the reasons we started playing a lot of Pai Gow when it started popping up all over town.  Although it generally cost more to start, the nature of the game meant you lost at a much slower rate, and your gambling dollar bought a lot more time than a similar buy-in at BJ or craps.

Although it never was important to me, in those days the cocktail waitress would just give you a pack of cigarettes if you asked for one.  These days, they sometimes have a cigarette lady walking around charging you some ridiculous amount for smokes.  I never smoked, I hate the smell, so I’m fine with that change, I just want to point it out.  And I think the change there may have had more to do with how our society views smoking than it being about Vegas making a buck.  But perhaps I’m being naïve.

Also, back then, if you were sitting at a blackjack table and you had a headache, you could ask the waitress to bring you some aspirin.  She’d bring you a couple, no charge.  Now you have to go the gift shop and pay more for a little package of aspirin than a 500-count box from Wal-Mart costs.  However, I suspect that this change has more to do with our corrupt legal system than anything else.  If casinos gave people aspirin for free, they could be sued if the person getting the free aspirin came down with any kind of illness—or, more likely, pretended to.  Lawyers, huh?

And then there were the shows.  The shows used to be a real bargain.  Again, they were loss leaders to get you to come to a particular casino.  Before and after the show, they figured you’d lose plenty of money in the casino to more than cover the deal you were getting for first class entertainment.  Norm and I saw all the big stage productions around town, in addition to plenty of comedy headliners of the day. We saw Don Rickles, Buddy Hackett, George Carlin, Bill Cosby (before he became a sad punchline himself), people like that.  And for not a lot of money.

But now….you bet they make tons of money on the shows.  My friends recently saw the Michael Jackson / Cirque de Soleil show at Mandalay Bay and paid like $450 for the two of them. Yes,, they didn’t get the cheapest seats but still, not quite a bargain.  I told them for that kind of money, they should bring him back to life for the finale.

I don’t travel a lot to other vacation destinations, but I do get the sense that hotel rates in Vegas are still a bargain—not compared to the old days but compared to other places people like to vacation.  And then there are the resort fees.  Here, I may surprise you.  I am not going to rant about them.

It’s not that I don’t think they stink—they do.  It’s just that they are more of a one-time gotcha.  Once you’ve been burned by them the first time, you sure as hell better be smart enough to make sure you factor them in when comparing the cost of one hotel to another. You know the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.”  Well, once you know to look for them, problem solved.  Sure, it’s a pain in the ass to have to calculate the real room rate, but it’s manageable.

But you say they are charging for this “resort fee” for nothing, or for stuff that you don’t want, or that they should give you for free.  Well, maybe, but here’s the thing.  Suppose they passed a law outlawing resort fees.  Would you get your room for less?  Not a chance.  They’d just have to be honest about the real rate, and no longer make the room seem like more of a bargain than it is.  They would just add the resort fee onto the daily room rate they quote and make just as much money as they do now.  They’re not really charging you any more by calling it a resort fee, they’re just trying to fool you about the real cost.  As I said, once you get burned the first time (if you do), you know to factor it in.  I understand this, and that’s why you’ve never seen me rail against resort fees.  One of my pals likes to call them “ripoff fees” but I think they’re more like “gotcha this first time fees.”

As I mentioned in part 1, they do charge for parking in downtown Vegas.  In fact, they were charging for parking a zillion years ago when Norm and I first travelled there.  We always used to park in the garage at the Las Vegas Club (recently closed down).  It was five hours free with validation.  And there was no problem getting a validation.  There was a machine right by the cashier, and you were able to stamp the ticket yourself. You had five hours to enjoy any casino downtown without having to pay.  We figured if we needed more than five hours, it would mean we were winning way more than it would cost us for the parking (probably less than a buck an hour over the free period).  However, we never ever had to pay for parking, sadly.

We’d go downtown for three reasons.  One, we thought the buffet at the Golden Nugget was the best in town.  In addition to excellent food overall, they had absolutely the best brownies in the history of mankind.  We’d always joke that one time we’d go there and skip all the other food and just pig out on nothing but brownies.  Fortunately, we never actually tried that. We also liked to play blackjack at the LV Club, which had the “world’s most liberal blackjack.”  You could split and resplit Aces, double down on anything, and I don’t remember what else.  But it was pretty cool.  And then we’d go to Binion’s Horseshoe (now just Binion’s) where they had the most craps games going of any place in Vegas.  Not only did most of the tables offer a $1 minimum bet, but they offered 10X odds.  It was the best place to throw the dice in town.

Oh and by the way, yes I know we are talking years ago and inflation would have brought up many of the costs I’ve quoted by now.  That’s true, but believe me, the increases on all these things I’ve mentioned way exceed the rate of inflation. 

And now they are going to charge for parking on the Strip, where there are always plenty of parking spaces, where they want you to come so you can empty your wallet playing games of chance where the odds are always against you.  And these days, they don’t even pay you 3-2 for a blackjack.  It’s now 6-5.  Why?  Because they can get away with it, that’s why.

What’s left them for them to do to squeeze one more penny out of the suckers players?  Oh I know.  Maybe they’ll start charging you three bucks for pickles and onions on your burger.

Ten bucks to park, (if that’s what is) every time you come to the strip adds up fast.  For one thing, that’s ten bucks less you have to gamble with every time you come there.  Or ten bucks less you have to spend on drinks, or dinner.

Yes, as I pointed out in the first part, free parking will still be available under some circumstances.  Slot players or table games players who play a lot will get free parking. And again, I want to point out that the poker room managers went to bat for their players to get fee parking for their players.

But….not all their players.  Instead of offering parking validations for the players, you have to earn the free parking over time with your play.  The system was designed to keep the local regs and grinders coming back to MGM poker rooms.  Those folks should qualify easily.  But tourists? Not so much.

Most non-locals won’t qualify for free parking (at least from poker). How many visitors play 75 hours in a Vegas poker room a year?  I am an exception to the rule, because I go to Vegas a lot (partially because of my jobs) and play a lot of poker when I am there.  But I had already planned on coming to Vegas less often.  And if I decide to play at MGM less often and other non-MGM rooms more often, will I qualify for the free parking next year? 

And as I said, all the Strip casinos will have no choice but to adapt the same policy.  Let’s say the CET rooms use the same qualification….75 hours a year gets you free parking.  Well, maybe I can’t play 75 hours each in MGM rooms and CET rooms in a year (forgetting about hours at Venetian or TI or Wynn for a second).  I might have to decide to play all my poker in one chain or another, and thus never be able to park for free in the other chain’s casinos.

What about people who visit Vegas (for poker) less often than I do?  It will be very hard for most non-locals to qualify.  I ask my readers who visit Vegas from around the country (or around the world).  Do you play 75 hours of poker in one poker room a year?  Or do you play 40 hours a year in one poker room and 35 hours in another (both owned by MGM) in a year?  Probably not.

Of course if you fly in and don’t rent a car, it won’t matter.  But if you drive in, or fly in and rent a car, it will definitely matter.

What I’m trying to say is, it’s not just about me.  Usually it’s just about me, but not this time.  This blog is called Rob’s Vegas and Poker Blog.  Vegas is before poker.  That’s because I love Vegas.  Or always used to, anyway.  And I think this hurts the city.  Don’t believe me?  Check out this post from the same Two + Two thread that originally gave out the the info on the parking arrangement. Someone posted this a few posts later.  I post without permission or giving credit, but it’s there:

So it looks like just another tourist squeeze. Well, maybe they know what they're doing, but they've certainly been losing trips from me. I've cut way back.

Vegas is a desert with casinos and good food. With all the rising fees and ridiculous prices, lots of nicer destinations are becoming higher value choices. It's becoming easier and easier to "lose" the Vegas vs. elsewhere discussion with my wife.

This is from a poker forum so I assume the guy plays poker.  My fear is that the parking charge will hurt the games in town.  At MGM properties at first, then everywhere when the other rooms have to charge for parking as well.  There will be fewer tourists in those games.  They’ll come to Vegas less often (if for no other reason than it will become more expensive and they can afford less trips), and they will not drive to casinos where they have to pay for park.  These three or four times a year visitors will never qualify for free parking unless they have a bad slot machine or pit game habit.  More and more, the games will more locals-oriented.  It’s tough to win money from the local nits, regs and grinders.  Much easier to win pots from the plumber from Peoria or the banker from Bangor who come a few times a year.

So yeah, Vegas ain’t what it used to be, and it becomes less like what it used to be every year.  The corporate suits who run the place are trying their best to kill the goose that laid the golden egg.  They basically have a license to steal called a gambling license, and it’s just not enough for them.  They want to grab you by the feet, turn you upside down shake every last penny from your pockets.

Shame on you, MGM.  Shame on you, Vegas.

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