Degenerate Gamblers Singing & Dancing: Guys & Dolls

This is going to be a slightly unusual blog post for me (it will be entertaining).  I am going to talk about one of my favorite old movies.

What gave me the idea to do this was something that happened when I was working on my real job, for PokerAtlas, sometime back.  One of the things I do is enter tournaments into the database so they appear online. 

Whenever I do a series, as opposed to just a regularly scheduled tournament, there is a good chance I will have to enter a HORSE tournament or two.  And whenever I come to a HORSE tournament, a certain song goes thru my head.  It is not something do intentionally, it just happens.  It is sort of a Pavlovian response. But you know what?  On this particular day, that song did not go through my mind.  A different one did instead.  Do not worry, I willl tell you what the song that I usually start humming is at the end of the post.  Since it is a needless distraction from the main point of this post, I will stick it in at the end for those of you who want to stick around.

But this particularly time, I came to a HORSE tournament and had to find the structure sheet for it to enter the details. I thought I remembered coming across that structure not too long before, so apparently I was thinking, “I’ve got that structure sheet right here….” And instead of humming the sung I usually do, I inadvertently starting humming (singing, really—and it is a good thing that I work alone--) “I’ve got the horse right here, his name is Paul Revere…..”

It was so odd that I was not humming my normal tune that I took note of it, and wondered why I had not done that before with a HORSE tournament.  Because it is a lot more appropriate for my job than the one I normally think of.

I wonder how many of you recognize the lyrics?  It is from the opening number of the musical, “Guys and Dolls,” and you know, I kind of love that movie.

And when I was humming/singing that song as I found the structure sheet I was looking for, it dawned on me that perhaps the movie Guys and Dolls would be worth talking about here, because the subject matter relates at least tangentially to what I cover on this blog (and no, I am not referring to the fact that one of the two female leads in the movie plays a stripper).

Since the movie came out in 1955, I have no idea if you folks are familiar with it or not.  I suspect at least some of you are.  Maybe most of you.  Some of you have likely seen (or maybe even performed in) the stage musical.  Perhaps a high school production? For the record, I caught up with the movie not all that long ago, on TV, or cable, or DVD, whatever.  No, I was not there for the premiere in 1955.

Anyway, Guys and Dolls is one of those old-fashioned movie musicals that were common when it was released, but have practically disappeared.  “Chicago” was a recent example, and in fact, won the Academy award for best picture.  More recently, I guess you could cite “Les Miserables.”  But there have not been all that many lately.

The movie is based on the Broadway musical that dates back to 1950, which was based on short stories written by Damyon Runyon years earlier.  Yoy have probably heard the expression “Daymon Runyon character.”  Well, this movie is filled with Damyon Runyon characters.  In the movie, they are mostly gamblers, gangsters, crooks and other lowlifes….but deep down inside, they are not so bad.

And they have a distinct way of talking.  It is very unusual, but hard to explain, other than that they do not use contractions (except, oddly enough, in the songs).  They would never say, “I don’t know.”  It would be, “I do not know.”  It takes a bit of getting used to but eventually it becomes highly amusing.  You would not expect the average gambler to speak so well or be so polite.

Anyway, the two stars of the movie are Marlon Brando and Frank Sinatra.  The casting of Brando seems like an odd choice for a musical comedy.  But he had just become the biggest star in Hollywood and they wanted him.  And he was a perfect choice for the character of Sky Masterson—if you ignore the fact that the movie required him to sing and say funny lines.  This was a far cry from the heavy dramatic roles he had established himself with.  But the Masterson character was a tough guy, a wild gambler (the sky was the limit to how much he would wager) and so it did fit in with Brando’s persona.  

The casting of Sinatra was more natural.  Sinatra could have easily played either of the male leads.  Now, the Masterson role happened to be the one with more songs. It is just that, no way could Brando have pulled off playing Nathan Detroit, who was basically a schlemiel.  But Sinatra could—and did.  Effortlessly.  He is terrific in the movie.  And so, they added some extra songs for Sinatra to sing, since he was the most popular singer on the planet at the time. 

And then….yes, Brando did his own singing.  First—and I believe last—time, Brando sung in a movie.  And you know what?  Although not a great singer, he did just fine.  He could never have made it as a musical star, but he is more than just “ok.”  As importantly, Brando delivered all his comic lines flawlessly. 

The plot revolves around Nathan Detroit (Sinatra) trying to find a place to host his famous “floating crap game”—because that is what he does. He needs to win a bet from Sky Masterson (Brando) to get money to pay off someone to rent his space to host the game.  Sky will bet on anything.  The bet involves Sky having to take the virginal Miss Brown (Jean Simmons) to a pre-Castro Cuba for a date.  Miss Brown’s day job is saving sinner’s souls at a Salvation Army type of outfit.  Meanwhile Nathan is perfectly content being engaged to Adelaide (Vivian Blaine) for the past 14 years, but she would like him to finally tie the knot.

The fun is in the music and the comedy. Even if you have never seen the film, you have no doubt heard some of the songs.  The song that got me started on this post is actually titled, “Fugue for Tinhorns” and features three addicted horse players singing about how they have a sure thing in the next race—all three picking a different horse, of course.  We never find out who won that race, but my guess it was none of the three they are singing about.

And of course you have heard of “Luck be a Lady,” which was recorded by everybody including Sinatra—and it must have killed him that it was Brando singing it in the film, not him.  Other famous numbers include “I’ll know,” “A Woman in Love,” and “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ the Boat,” which is a showstopper near the climax, performed by the fabulous Stubby Kaye.

When I first saw the movie, I wanted to get the soundtrack to it (on CD, I think, not 8-track).  And I was disappointed to discover that there never was a soundtrack released for it.  It seems there was a dispute between the movie studio that owned the rights to the music and Sinatra’s record label.  They could never resolve it, and thus left a lot of money on the table. A damn shame.  So, there is no soundtrack, per se, of Brando singing.  But of course, you can find the clips on Youtube. 

For me, I had to do the next best thing and buy the soundtrack to the Broadway show.  Not only was I able to find the original cast album from the 1950 production, but there was a 1992 revival that had a good cast album. That one featured Nathan Lane as Nathan Detroit (also great casting).  By the way, here is a bit of trivia—the original Sky Masterson in 1950 was Robert Alda, father of Alan Alda.

Listening to the cast albums was interesting as it turns out there were a lot of songs cut from the Broadway version for the movie (and some new ones put in for the film).  I think the show’s best ballad was cut, a song you might have heard, “I’ve Never Been in Love Before.”  It was replaced by “A Woman in Love,” which is not nearly as good.  But that is show biz.

Anyway, the extremely colorful characters, the wonderful music and delightful humor throughout make this a very enjoyable, highly entertaining viewing experience.  Note: with all that gambling, none of it is poker.  It is either horse racing or craps, except for Sky, who will bet on anything except cheesecake. 

Did I mention the setting is New York (late 40’s I guess—but a New York that exists only for the two hours that you are watching).  Now, when the New York-New York casino opened up in Vegas, the main restrooms on the casino floor where identified with signs that said “Guys” and “Dolls”—obviously a tribute to the movie (or the play).  I loved that, and that Mens Room was favorite in Vegas. Sadly, a few years ago, they changed those signs to read simply “Men” and “Women.”  But they still have those signs on the restrooms upstairs, in the arcade area.  Passing by them always makes me think of Marlon Brando singing.

Watching this flick never fails to put a smile on my face.  I highly recommend you seek it out if you have never seen it (especially if you like Broadway style music). I dunno how it is available, but I am sure you can find it somehow, stream it, download, rent it, whatever you kids are doing these days to watch movies.

Note:  In doing a little research for this (as little as I could possibly do, of course) I found a few items indicating that there are plans to remake Guys and Dolls.  But the most recent thing I saw was about two years old, so I dunno if it is still a go or not. 

Now, getting back to the song I was humming…as I said at the outset, I do not usually hum “Fugue for Tinhorns” when I see a HORSE tournament on the schedule.  I usually starting singing, “A horse is a horse, of course, of course.”

Does that ring a bell?  It is the theme song from a old TV show called “Mr. Ed” from the late 50’s/early 60’s.  Mr. Ed was a talking horse.  Yes, of course.  You never heard of a talking horse?

I watched that show as a kid (in reruns) and loved it.  I have no idea if I would still like it as an adult, but it was fun back then.  And the theme song was extremely catchy.  You can hear the full lyrics at the link here.

Ok, not as good as the music in Guys and Dolls, to be sure, But listen a few times and see if you can get it out of your head.

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When Quad Queens is One Too Many

Timing is everything, right?

You know I jump around a lot in writing up my stories, my sessions.  Well, I was just about to start writing up this session from early July when, by an incredible coincidence, something happened to put a whole new spin on it.  If I had written up the story even a day or two earlier, I wouldn’t have known something quite interesting about one of the players involved.

I think it’s best to tell the twist on the story first, before the actual story. 

The other night I reviewed my notes, looking for the next thing I wanted to blog about.  I came upon a session at MGM that took place the last Friday I was in town.  It happened two days before I ran into Orel Hershiser (see here) which, as you recall, was a story about playing with a famous celebrity and not recognizing him (at least immediately).  It’s no coincidence that I reference that story in relating this one.

So I listened to my voice notes that I had made the day after the session and then had some time that evening to starting writing the post.  But as sometimes happens to me, I just got this incredible case of writer’s block.  I mean I had the material, but suddenly I just didn’t feel like I could write up one more poker session.  I mostly stared at the monitor and finally went to bed without writing a single word.

All day today (today being the day I’m actually starting to write this, not the day you read it), I knew I was going to at least get started writing that post this evening, all the time hoping I’d be more inspired. 

Just as I was finished working and about break for dinner, I checked my Twitter feed and noticed that someone I follow—let’s call her Poker Lawyer since that what she calls herself—mentioned running into Victor Ramdin while on vacation.  I’m embarrassed to say that the name didn’t ring a bell but in the context, it sounded like Victor was someone I should have known from the poker world. Well, I don’t really follow the professional poker world as much as you might think, seeing as how I write for a poker mag.  But my column is for recreational players, and covers the poker scene in Vegas for the grinders and the tourists (mostly the tourists).  I don’t cover the pros. 

Anyway, I decided to click on Victor’s Twitter profile just to see who he is.  Honestly, it was mostly to see how jealous I needed to be that Poker Lawyer ran into him.

And when I did, I did a double take.  Now, Victor is a pro affiliated with Poker Stars.  The guy pictured in Victor’s Twitter profile looked pretty much exactly like I remembered a player I’d played with at the MGM six weeks earlier looked.  I mean, a whole lot. Of course, I’d only seem him that one night and it was like 6 weeks ago, so my memory could be off.

But get this—there was a buddy of his at the table and he spent the whole evening calling him, “Victor.”  And in my notes, I referred to him as “Victor” in my notes because, you know, that certainly appeared to be his name. So, I did a little stalking, I mean “Googling.”  Victor Ramdin lives in New York, and I definitely remember the Victor I had played with saying he lived in New York. 

And of course, you know where this is going.  Yes, yes, the voice notes I had just listened to the night before were about the session with this guy apparently named “Victor.”  Who looked like the guy in Victor Ramdin’s Twitter profile.

Coincidence? 

I didn’t think so. But what to do about it?  Just write the post as I had planned?  Or do I mention that the guy in my story might have been a famous pro, but that I wasn’t sure?

Then I thought….why not ask Victor if that was him?  I’ve got nothing to lose.  He may not answer, and I just do the story.  But if he answers and confirms it, I have a better story.

I tweeted to Victor Ramdin a question with enough info so he’d likely remember the session—was that him at the MGM that night?  In less than an hour, he tweeted back that indeed it was him!  Awesome.  Now I had a way to write this story that would surely cure my writer’s block.  Honestly, the timing was outright freaky, but it couldn’t have been better.

Victor and his pal Dan didn’t show up until the middle of this session.  In fact, they showed up while I was taking a quick dinner break. 

Before they showed up, there were a couple of memorable hands.  The first one was when I raised to $10 with King-9 of diamonds and had two callers.  The flop was King-high, two diamonds.  A guy made a donk bet of $10 and I just called.  He had stolen a pot from me with a bluff earlier—he showed the bluff even though he didn’t have to—and I was hoping to get my money back by letting him build the pot for me.  I figured I could really make a nice score if I caught my flush.  The other guy called too.  The turn was a 3 of spades and I just called the guy’s $15 bet and the other guy folded.  A 3 of clubs hit the river and now he put out a bigger stack of chips--$80.  I tanked.  Did he really have something?  Was my top pair good?  I decided to call and he showed pocket 9’s.  So that was a decent pot.

A little later six of us limped in when I had pocket deuces.  The flop was A-5-2, two clubs.  I bet $7 and a guy raised to $15 after someone called my $7.  We both called.  The turn was a Jack of clubs and I checked, the guy who raised me on the flop put out $50.  I called, fearing I needed to boat up to win.  The other guy called as well.  The river was a red 3, not good for me at all.  I checked, and the guy who had only been calling put out $95.  The other guy shoved for a bit more than the $95.  I tanked, but found the fold button.  Too many ways my set was no good.

Well, the guy who bet $95 had Ace-x, but the Ace was a club so on the turn he had the nut flush draw.  The other guy had King-4 offsuit.  Yeah.  He played that crazy.  But the four gave him the straight and the pot.

When I returned from a quick dinner break, there were some new players.  Over at opposite end of the table was a guy who eventually introduced himself as “Dan.”  He had a big stack and said, “it was all in play.”  I assume he had moved over from a different table or had perhaps won a big pot there before I showed up.  He made it clear that he was not going to be shy about putting those chips at risk.

And across from me was a gentleman that Dan kept calling “Victor.”  He had a more normal looking stack, as I recall.  They were both indulging in adult beverages, which may partially explain their play.

Pretty much the entire night, one of them would raise preflop.  If it wasn’t one, it was the other.  But there wasn’t too much three-betting going on.  A simple raise was mostly enough for them.  Dan liked to raise in odd amounts, like $7, $11, $13.  I guess $13 was the most frequent and we were actually sitting at table 13.  At one point, Dan said, “No one has guessed why I keep betting these odd amounts.”  That was after he opened for $13.  Someone guessed that it was because we were at table 13.  He said, “Well, that’s only partially it.”  Hmm….

About an hour later the light bulb went over my head.  I suddenly remembered Didi. You remember her, right?  Tha well-endowed young woman who liked to extract a kiss from the male dealers before tipping them very generously (see here).  Well, in addition to frequently calling attention to the fact that she had big boobs (something it was hard not to notice), she liked to bet in prime numbers.  She made a point of it and took time to figure out the next closest prime number to the amount she wanted to bet. 

It seemed like Dan was betting in prime numbers too (but, fortunately for him, didn’t have big boobs like Didi).  So finally, between hands, I shouted over to Dan, “Excuse me, but are you only betting in prime numbers?”

Bingo.  Dan exclaimed, “Yes, yes, the gentleman wins the prize!  That’s exactly right.  And here’s your reward.”  And with that, he tossed me a $5 chip.  I hadn’t realized there was a prize.

From the conversation they were having, across the table, it was clear Dan and Victor were in town for the WSOP.  Dan was actually still alive in an event that was going on right then, and Victor was going to play in the Main Event that was a few days away from starting.

As Dan finally starting slowing down with his preflop aggression, Victor started speeding up.  And for about an hour, he raised pretty much every hand preflop, if it wasn’t raised first.  Every single hand was worth either $10, $15, or maybe more to Victor.  At the time, I just assumed he was your average maniac, and perhaps this was intensified as he kept drinking.  But now that I know who he was, I have to assume that a good part of his play could be attributed to the fact that he was playing such a smaller game than he usually plays.  He was certainly playing like the money didn’t mean anything to him.

Did I mention that Dan and Victor liked to straddle?  Every damn chance they got.  Fortunately, the only allow the UTG straddle at MGM.  And for some reason, the straddle in the 1/2 game is $5, not $4 (a recent change). So I looked down at pocket Jacks when Dan had straddled to $5.  I made it $20 and Dan was the only caller.  The flop was King-high.  Dan checked, I bet $30 and Dan check-raised me to $80.  I tanked and then folded. That bothered me because, the way Dan was playing, it was very possible he was betting with air there.  I probably should have called….but I folded and allowed myself to be annoyed by it.

With pocket 9’s I called Victor’s $10 raise.  The flop was Ace-Queen-Queen.  Victor bet $20 and I decided to call.  Based on my observations, I thought there was a decent chance my 9’s were actually good.  The board went blank-blank and there was no more betting.  He showed pocket 3’s.   I told you I thought my 9’s were likely good.

With Ace-2 of spades, I called a $5 straddle.  Victor made it $15 and I called.  So did Dan, the straddler.  The flop was Ace-2-x, two diamonds.  I led out for $30.  Victor made a big raise—I didn’t note the amount, but it was almost as much as I had left (probably started the hand with $120-$130).  That got Dan to fold but I shoved, just a bit more than Victor had bet, not nearly enough to get him to fold.  Of course he had King-Queen of diamonds and caught his flush on the river.  Time to buy another $200 worth of chips.

Victor raised to $20 and I had pocket Queens in the big blind.  I just called, and it was actually 5-ways.  The flop was all low cards, I checked and Victor only bet $20, which was odd.  I called and we were heads up.  The turn card was a beautiful Queen.  I checked, sure Victor would bet, and he put out $80.  I thought for a bit whether to just call or shove.  The $80 was about half my stack, give or take, and he had me covered. But I also was hesitating trying to figure out if I could raise without shoving and the answer was no—didn’t have enough chips.  It was either call or shove. I decided to just call.

The river was another Queen.  If you’re keeping score at home, that means I had all of them.  The only question was whether or not to bett.  My thought there was that the paired Queen might scare him off.  I sensed he had a decent hand but might be willing to check behind me if checked.  Also, my stack wasn’t that much as compared to the pot.  I figured if he had anything at all, he’d call.  It was less than $100 into a $300 pot.  He has to call there, right?

So I shoved and Victor tanked.  He talked for a long time, trying to decide.  I was sure he’d eventually call.  Obviously he had something or he would have insta-folded.  He said that the second Queen might have counterfeited him.  He agonized quite a bit—surprising to me for the money involved and the way he liked to put his chips in play—and damn it, he did indeed find a fold.  Seriously?

I showed my hand (to get two drawing tickets) and said, “How could you not pay me off there, for the size of that pot?”  He said he had two pair on the flop.  Damn.  He is going to pay me off if the board doesn’t pair.  My hand actually became too damn good on the river.

Later I had the dreaded pocket Kings and Victor had raised to $!0.  Another guy called and I made it $40.  They both folded.

Last hand I noted, I made it $15 with pocket Queens.  Note: Victor had limped in on this hand.  I’m impressed I didn’t faint.  It was four ways and the flop was King-Queen-x.  I bet $30 and no one called.

I never made back all of my money but it was small loss.  It was a fun night and I had no idea that Victor was a professional poker player.

But I guess the best part of the story happened right before I started writing this, the amazing coincidence of learning who Victor really was right after listening to my voice notes about for the first time since I recorded them 6 weeks earlier.

Thanks to Victor Ramdin for being a good sport about this (I hope) and to Poker Lawyer for inadvertently contributing to this post in a totally unique way.

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The Aria WPT 500 — The Sardine Tournament

OK, time to resume talking about the tournaments that I played while in Vegas this past trip.  I refer you to the 4-part epistle that started here. In telling that saga, I made it clear that tournaments drive me crazy.  And I said that even after winning over $1K in that tournament.  But I did point out that although, at the end of that day, I felt like I should stop playing them….I didn’t (stop playing tournaments, that is).

About a week later, I returned to the Golden Nugget to play in the $350, $100K guarantee tournament that I mentioned in that earlier post.  Yes, that meant I had to get my ass out of bed early to be downtown for the 11AM start—which I did.  I lasted around 10 levels.  The most notable hand was when I had pocket Kings around the fifth level.  There was a raise and a call in front of me.  I three-bet.  The original raiser four-bet.  I shoved.  He called and had me covered. He turned over pocket Jacks.  I saw a King in the window.  Also nice, the third card on the flop was a King as well.  Tip: flopping quads, especially when you’re all-in, is a good play.  Even I can win with the dreaded hand by flopping quads.  Just to piss my opponent off a little more, he caught a Jack on the river, so his Jacks full lost to my quads.

Alas, that was the high point for me.  I lost most of my chips calling a shove with Ace-King.  The shorter stack had Queen-Jack and of course hit a Queen.  A few hands later, crippled, I shoved Ace-7 off and got called by pocket Jacks.  This time pocket Jacks was the winning hand.

A couple of days I returned downtown for Binion’s $160 tourney. I recognized one of the players at the table as a dealer there.  The funny thing was her shirt.  She had obviously come in expecting to deal, and I guess based on the turnout, was allowed to play instead.  But she must not have had a “normal” shirt to wear.  Dealers can play in the room they work (on or off the clock) but they can’t be in uniform.  Right next to the tournament area at Binion’s there’s a store where the sell cheap t-shirts and jackets, mostly touristy type things that say “Las Vegas” or have Vegasy type designs. The lady dealer must have had to have bought a t-shirt to play—and for whatever reason the one she got said, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”  All her fellow employees were cracking up at this, and teasing her mercilessly, because no actual Vegas resident would ever wear such a shirt.  It’s strictly for tourists—first time tourists at that.  Unless she had someone to give it to, she probably burned that shirt when she got home.

At one point, a middle-aged woman was moved to our table directly on the lady dealer’s left.  On the dealer’s right, a gentleman shoved and the action was the new player.   She asked to get a better look, so the dealer/player, who wasn’t in the hand, gave her an estimate of the guy’s stack.  But she insisted the lady dealer move out of the way, and before she could explain further, she actually put her hands on the lady dealer and shoved her back in her chair, explaining that the lady dealer was blocking her view of the guy who had shoved—she wanted to see his face to determine if he was strong or weak.  That bought new meaning to the term “shoving” in poker (and yes, I used that joke at the table).  The lady dealer was surprised but didn’t say anything, although we had a good laugh about it later.  Anyway, the shove didn’t work—she called and lost the hand and was done.

For me, the most notable hand was when I doubled up a few rounds in with set-over-set. My set of Jacks took down a set of 9’s.   Then I made possibly a bad play based on an exposed card.  I had about $37,500 at the level where the blinds were 200/800/1600.  A guy raised to $4,500.  I looked down at the dreaded Kings.  But as the dealer was dealing, he had exposed a King.  Hmm….I probably wouldn’t have shoved there ordinarily, I would have just made a three-bet.  But knowing the odds of me hitting a set if I need to were halved, I decided to shove.  Not sure if my logic there is any good or not.  Anyway, the raiser had a slightly short stack than I did and called with Ace-Queen.  Can you say Ace in the window?  And, for good measure, there was also a Queen on the flop.  I needed to hit my one-outer (or go runner-runner Jack-10) and of course I didn’t. I shoved my few remaining chips with King-9 a bit later and was done.

Suddenly my final weekend in town was approaching and there were a lot of big tournaments coming up right before the Main Event at the WSOP.  Even before I got to town—when I was entering the details on PokerAtlas—I started thinking of playing in the WPT 500 at the Aria.  The buy-in was $565—a little steep for me, though the same price as the Colossus which of course I had played in at the beginning of my trip (see here).  This was an unusual tournament design, the second time they held it at the Aria.  I didn’t play last year, but I did mention last year’s event in the post here. 

Anyway, this was a big tournament with like 10 starting days and a cool $2MM guaranteed prize pool.  In order to win, you actually had to play three days, a full second day to get down to the final table then the final table on the third day.  Some of you may therefore wonder why I would consider playing it, since I complained so much about the Golden Nugget tourney I cashed in being a two-day event.

But there are a lot of differences.  For one thing, Day 2, if I made it, would be a whole day (potentially), not just a final table.  Another thing is that, since I was staying in the Strip area, returning to the Aria for Day 2 would be a lot more convenient than heading downtown.  Not to mention that the potential payoff from a $2MM prize pool (at least) could be a lot more money than anything I could have earned from the $150 Golden Nugget tournament. 

Also, they were paying people off each Day 1.  If you made it to the last 12% (I think) of any particular Day 1, they’d give you something like $800 even if you busted before making it into Day 2.  Plus, if you did make it to Day 2, at the end of Day 1, they would actually give you some prize money after you bagged and tagged (I think it was like $1K, but don’t quote me on that).  So, if I made it to the end of Day 1 with say, just one big blind left, I could take my money and not bother returning the next day to play my one remaining chip, if I wanted to.

Then there was the fact that I’d never played in a WPT event, and I thought it would be kinda cool to do so.

And then I looked at the structure sheet.  It was pretty damn good.  A different “style” of a great structure than the one Sam used at the Golden Nugget.  The antes kicked in at level 3, but what a slow progression of the blinds!  I’d never seen so many levels.  There were 75/150, 150/300, 250/500, 500/1000 levels, etc.  And the first level was 25/50, not 50/100.   The first 8 levels were 30-minutes, then 40-minutes after that (60-minute levels at the final table). The starting stack was $15K.  Since Day 2 was a full day, I didn’t object to such a great structure, I assure you.  And if I was “forced” to come in for just the final table on Day 3, well, even if I were to bust out on the first hand of that day, I’m pretty sure the money would have been more than worth my while.

So, I figured I’d give it a shot.  The tournament started at Noon and I remembered from last year that the last few Day 1’s were total mob scenes.  This was on a Thursday and Day 2 was on Sunday.  It was also the start of the July 4^th weekend.  I tried to get there as early as I could and left my temporary headquarters at around 11:15AM.  I got into my car which was like an oven.  Not only was it very hot, there was a ton of humidity in the air (it was unseasonably muggy).  The car never cooled off in the short drive over to the Aria and by the time I parked, I was sweating profusely.

Now, I should mention that whenever I go to the Aria, I never park there.  Parking at the Aria (self-parking, anyway) means driving on the Strip, something that I try never, ever to do if I can possibly help it.  So I park at the Monte Carlo.  The two are connected so that you never have to go outside to get from one to the other.  Actually, it’s probably not really any longer a walk from the Monte Carlo parking structure to the Aria poker room than it is from the MGM parking structure to the MGM poker room. 

I parked before 11:30 and walked at a rapid pace towards the Aria.  I knew there would be a long line to register and I sure didn’t want to be an alternate.  The registration for the tournament was not at the poker cashier as usual but in the Sports Book—more walking.  By the time I took my place in a rather long line to register, I think I had left a trail of sweat all the way back to my car.

I didn’t stop sweating the entire 30 minutes or so I was in line.  There were only three cashiers taking entrants, plus they had everyone sign a TV release (not sure if/when the event is/was being shown).  I finally got my entry ticket a few minutes before Noon, and then raced over to where the tournament was.  I missed all the pre-tournament announcements and probably missed the first hand or two—not bad. I was mainly concerned with not being an alternate.

But I have to say my seating assignment was probably the worst in the entire tournament.  I don’t mean because there were tough players at my table.  No, I mean the actual location of the seat itself.  When the Aria Classic began, they had added a bunch of tables of course across from the actual poker room.  Then I saw that there were bringing a whole slew of additional tables for the final few days of the WPT 500.  I was in one of the newer, newer tables.  And these last added tables were really, really packed in tight.

And unfortunately, I was in seat 5, right in the middle.  Everyone else was seated when I got there, and there was no way I could squeeze in without asking a couple of folks to stand up and let me slide in.  And once seated, my chair was practically jammed up against the dealer’s chair from the table directly behind me. So the dealer would bump into me on occasion, and every half hour when a new dealer pushed in behind me, I was sure to get clobbered. We were packed in like sardines.

Ever since I started playing poker, when I play in a room that doesn’t have a lot of space, where the tables are packed in, I realize that I have an ever-so-slight case of claustrophobia.  It’s not like I get sick, I just find myself real uncomfortable whenever I feel like I don’t have the ability to come and go as I please.  I pretty much knew there was no chance that I’d be able to get up and use the restroom, should the need arise, until the breaks.  That alone made me uncomfortable.

And I was still sweating like the proverbial pig when I took my seat.  It took about three levels, minimum, before I stopped the sweating.

All told, it was probably the most uncomfortable I’d ever been playing poker.  The entire time I was there, I kept praying for them to break the table so I could move anywhere else, it would have had to have been roomier.  But they took registration for 8 damn levels and of course they didn’t break any tables during that time—there was a steady stream of alternates the entire reg period, constantly filling up the empty seat. 

Since I didn’t cash, I’m not going to give a detailed accounting of hands.  So let’s fast forward to the end of level 11. That level had blinds of 200/600/1200 and my stack was around $55K.  Not great but not bad. I seem to recall the average stack was around $44K.  I thought I was playing pretty well and at that point, had never been all-in with a risk of busting out.  My tournament “M” had never gotten below 10.  It was just a few minutes before the end of the level which meant the 1 hour dinner break.  

And I was really looking forward to that break.  Not only was I quite hungry (I had had a very early lunch before heading to the Aria), but I really had to go the restroom.  Before the previous break, I had gotten lucky and was able to sneak out mid-tournament when the player to my right busted—I made a mad dash to the Men’s Room before they filled that seat.  But this time I caught no such break.  There was a time when I was waiting for the button to pass so I could ask the guy on my right to move so I could get out.  Unfortunately, there was a hand where he raised, I three-bet him (with pocket Queens, I think) and he folded.  I thought that asking him to move so I could hit the head would be adding insult to injury, so I just suffered.

When I was able to stop thinking about how badly I needed to pee to think about the poker, I was pretty happy about the way things had gone and was looking forward to a long run after the dinner break.  I was starting to indulge in the fantasy of making it to Day 2, possibly with a decent stack.  There were just one or two hands to be dealt before that dinner break.

And so….I looked down at pocket Aces.  A player in early position opened for $3K.  It folded to me and I made it $9.  The raiser shoved, which was fine by me.  He had a bit over $20K, but I didn’t bother with a count, I of course snap-called. 

He showed pocket Jacks.  And of course, there was a god-damn Jack in the window.  I took a big hit—over $23K.

I was stunned.  Yeah, that’s poker.  But I was thisclose to going into the dinner break with a decent stack.  And if my Aces had held—and I was like a 80/20 favorite—I would have a very nice stack indeed.  Damn it.

Very next hand, which was definitely going to be the last hand before the break, I got Ace-Queen.  I hadn’t had a chance to count or confirm that I was in desperation mode, so when a big stack raised in front of me, I just folded.  One of my motivations was that I didn’t want to stay at the table any longer than I had to because I needed to hit the bathroom so bad.  Anyway, had I shoved and been called, I would have lost to pocket 9’s.  I made a mad dash to the Men’s room on the way to dinner.

This flight of the tournament had over 800 entrants, and there were still quite a few left (I didn’t make a note, but probably at least 200-300, maybe more.  I didn’t want to bother trying to find acceptable food at the Aria (cuz I’d want to use my comps and that would take long and everyplace would be crowded with all the tournament players on break).  So I headed over to the Monte Carlo food court and ate at the world’s most overpriced Subway.  Because it is in a Strip hotel, the once $5 foot longs are like $10.   

So I ordered an overpriced tuna sandwich.  I left my soda at the table and just needed a cup of water to take a pill with after dinner.  So they charged me $10 for the sandwich and I asked for some plain water.  They said they didn’t have any water!  What? Every Subway I’ve ever been to that has a soda jockey (which this one does) has a lever for plain water.  Not this one.  She said I could buy a bottle of water.  For what?  Three bucks?  Are you kidding me?  I told the girl it was probably against the law for them not to make plain water available to their customers.  She said she could give me some tap water and I said fine. 

I was not a happy camper.  I couldn’t get that Aces hand out of my mind.  By this time I’d figured out that with a $31K remaining stack, I basically had one move left.  Find a hand to shove with.  And I was pissed that I had to have an overpriced dinner where I had to beg for water and was likely to return to the tournament long enough to bust out possibly with minutes of the tournament resuming.  Grrr…..so frustrating.

Back to the tournament for level 12. The blinds were 200/800/1600.  The very first hand back from break, I was on the button with Ace-Queen of clubs.  The big stack raised to $4,500 in front of me.  Since he opened most posts with his big stack, I didn’t put him on a big hand.  I shoved.  Unfortunately, the small blind behind me shoved too. He had me covered. The big stack folded, and the small blind flipped over pocket Kings. They were definitely dreaded to me.

But what a flop.  Jack-10-x, two clubs. I had all kinds of outs.  And sure enough, the turn was a King, giving him a set but me Broadway.  I was one card away from my desperately needed double up.  And then a friggin’ 10 on the river gave him the boat.  I was done. 

I’d had that crappy, overpriced dinner to play one more hand after an hour break. I could have saved myself from the overpriced dinner by shoving the last hand before break! I had sat in that sardine tin all day, doing really well until the second to last hand before dinner where I went in as an 80/20 favorite.  And now I was finished.

Pretty sure there was steam coming out of my ears as I walked to my car.

As I said before, poker tournaments make me crazy.

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Vegas Poker Scene (August Ante Up Column)

Here's my newest column for Ante Up.  The link for it on the Ante Up website is here.   Remember, my contribution is embedded in the entire West Coast report.  So below is just my Vegas report.  The magazine should be in your local poker room sooner, rather than later.

VENETIAN: The $5K main event for the Deep Stack Extravaganza finished July 17 with nearly 550 players generating a prize pool of more than $2.5M. The top three were Samuel Bernabeu ($537K), Doug Lee ($330K) and Hans Winzeler ($240K).

Venetian hosted the Mid-States Poker Tour on June 1-3. The buy-in was $1,100, the prize pool was nearly $2M and there were close to 2K players. Angelina Rich won $215K in a chop, becoming the first woman to win an MSPT event.

DSE 3.5 runs Sept. 10-Oct. 4. The series offers more than $1.7M in guarantees. The championship event has three starting flights beginning Sept. 25 with a $1,600 buy-in and a $400K guarantee. Most of the noon events are priced at $250, $300 and $600. The 7 p.m. events are $200 or $300, with a mix of bounty, survivor and rebuy tournaments. Several Omaha/8 or PLO tournaments are sprinkled throughout the schedule at 4 p.m. All events have guarantees.

ARIA: The second WPT500 completed July 6 as more than 5,100 entrants competed over the course of 10 flights that started in late May. It was the largest field in WPT history. The final three finishers were Craig Varnell ($330K), Lucio Antunes ($223K) and Alexander Lakhov ($150K). The prize pool for the $565 buy-in was more than $2.5M.

Aria also hosted the Senior Poker Tour on June 17-18. The $350 buy-in event had a field of 325 with a prize pool of $97,500. Top prizes went to Jerry Zickert ($15K), Konstantin Novoa ($12K) and Wayne Clarke ($11K).

Aria’s Super High Roller Bowl ran July 2-4. The $500K buy-in drew 43 players for a prize pool of $21.5M. Brian Rast ($7.5M), Scott Seiver ($5.1M) and Connor Drinan ($3.2M) took home the biggest prizes but, honestly, there weren’t any small prizes.

PLANET HOLLYWOOD: The PHamous Poker Series Goliath Main Event was June 25-28 as more than 1,600 entrants paid $1,150 to compete for more than $1.6M. The top three were David Schultz ($278K), Jonathan DiMatteo ($172K) and Phillip Mighall ($130K).

The LIPS National Championship ran June 27-28 and had 430 players for an $83K-plus prize pool from the $250 buy-in. Top three prizes: Persia Bonella ($18K), Cindy Kerslake ($11K) and Kimberley Kilroy ($8K).

WYNN: The main event, played July 3-6, had a $620K prize pool for its $1,600 buy-in. The field was 400-plus players and the top three were: Raymond Rice ($103K), Fadh Hamad ($95K) and Dan Larson ($89K).

HOLLYWOOD POKER OPEN: After a year-long qualifying process that spanned the Hollywood Casino properties across United States, Kevin Stammen captured the $2,500 Hollywood Poker Open Championship title at the M Resort on June 26-28. The event sported a prize pool of $1.5M as Stammen earned $347K, followed by Joe Serock ($214K) and Alex Keating ($140K).

BINION’S CLASSIC: The $1K main event on June 18-19 drew 150 players. The top three prizes from the $137K prize pool went to Paul Vacchio ($28K), Rueben Hoang ($31K) and Timothy Acker ($14K).

The Masters Poker Series, for players age 45 and older, ran June 21-22. The buy-in was $400, the field was 320 and the prize pool was $105K. Top three: David Klutchman and Norman Hall ($20,360 each) and Scott Yeates ($10K).

BELLAGIO CUP: Held July 10-14, the $10,400 event had 301 players and a prize pool of almost $3M. Top three players: Sean Winter ($562K), Dominik Nitsche ($429K) and Byron Kaverman ($409K).

ORLEANS OPEN: The $540 main event finished May 27 with 89 players and a $43K prize pool. Winners were Ethan Wermer and Brandon Setzer ($11K), followed by Joshua Takesky ($6K).

FLAMINGO: New promotions include an hourly $50 high hand between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Only one card needs to play to qualify. Between 2-9 a.m., there is a flop-a-flush promotion that pays $100, $200, $300 and $500 as each suit pays until all suits are hit. The weekly freeroll is worth $6K with 30 places paid and 12 hours of play are required to be eligible. The new single-table bad-beat jackpot pays $1,500 to the loser, $599 to the winner and $150 each to the other players at the table. High hands remain $50 for quads, $100 for straight flushes and $300 for royals.

EASTSIDE CANNERY: The four-table locals room on Boulder Highway just added a $45 HORSE tournament. It runs twice a month on the first and third Thursdays. With an optional $5 dealer bonus, players receive 8K chips. The second and fourth Thursdays feature a $50 Beat the Boss tournament that has a $400 bounty on the boss and a $10 bounty on the other players. The starting stack is 5K.

Every Tuesday there’s a $45 Omaha/8 tournament. Fridays at 7 p.m. is a $45 deepstack (10K stack if you take the optional $5 dealer bonus). Saturday and Sundays at 7 p.m. there is a $25 tournament (2K stack, 15-minute levels). All other tournaments have 20-minute levels.

The room offers plenty of promotions, including $50 for Aces Cracked between 2-5 p.m. and 7-11 p.m. Royals earn $500. There’s a cash award for at least 25 hours of live play during the month; minimum $50, maximum $400.

STRATOSPHERE: Mark Selby is running the poker room. He formerly managed the rooms at Westgate and the Riveria. He replaces Rick Luksza, who retired.

The Strat recently added several promos. In addition to $50 Aces Cracked, the room is offering high hands three times a day and flopped high hands between 11 a.m. and 5 p.m. Players who flop the high hand get double the normal payout.

WESTGATE HOTEL: The property, formerly known as the LVH, closed its three-table room in June.

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